Children have a pure heart and mind. They are happy, bubbly and are extremely impressionable. Due to this, we, as adults, should take a lot of care in what we say and do to them and around them. If a wrong impression is left upon a child, it is extremely difficult to get them out of it. An area where parents seem to go wrong constantly is when encouraging a kid. Be it regarding school work, sports, or achievements of the other siblings, it is important that you encourage your child to excel in the right way, without crushing his or her spirit. Here are some tried and tested ways to encourage your child to do better.
Tokens of Appreciation
Many parents resort to nagging their children when they are trying to encourage them. While your intent maybe right, your child may not take it in the same spirit. What about what he has already achieved? One of the best ways to encourage your child is to give them a token of appreciation for what they have already achieved. You may get award plaques done specifically for your kid, stating what he or she has achieved and how he or she is appreciated. Kids will definitely get a kick out of this and will be determined to do even better.
Children think precisely and clearly. Their emotions are not crowded by emotion or fuzzy logic. Therefore it helps to let them clearly know what you expect from them. This is where goal setting comes into play. If you expect your kid to learn that piece of music to perfection by the end of the month, let them know. If you want them to master a certain skill, let them know in advance so that they can work towards achieving the goal. Additionally, take care to do this in such a way so that you don’t pressurize them as well. Let them know that it is okay to make mistakes but that you would appreciate them trying their best.
Let them do the work
Whenever your kids are working on a project, make sure that you do not butt in the middle of it. Remember that it is their project and not yours. For example, if your kid is cooking a meal, and is cutting all the vegetables in the wrong way, do not jump in the middle and reprimand them. Instead let them carryout the project. Who knows? Maybe the meal will turn out to be brilliant, despite poorly cut vegetables. Remember that you are letting them be independent. However much you are tempted, try not to hover over their shoulder too much. This gives them a sense that you trust them with something and will in turn encourage them to do better.
There are two types of parents. One type will mollycoddle their kids regardless of what they did. The other type of parents will condemn their kids no matter what they do. There aren’t many parents out there who are capable of giving constructive criticism. Many haven’t even heard of constructive criticism. It is one of the best ways to encourage your children to excel in whatever they do. When giving constructive criticism, you should make your child feel that the criticism is for their own good. If you are not sure how to go about it, there are millions of articles about it online. Alternatively, you can simply talk to a childcare professional. They would have plenty of experience in giving constructive criticism, without discouraging a child.
One thing that you should never do when it comes to children is to compare them with other children. Not only is this ethically wrong, but makes the child feel that what he or she does is never good enough. Imagine if your child is baking some cookies and if you constantly tried to compare it with some other child? Your child would feel that he or she is no good at the task and would be highly discouraged. In addition, your child would also feel an animosity towards those kids whom you are comparing them against. So the way to encourage your child would be to first appreciate their efforts. You may even give an award for it. Then, approach with constructive criticism. Instead of comparing work done, simply point out what could have been done better.